4i Newsletter Masthead 382


fouri 382 Connections

Whilst I love a lot of tech, for me there are some things I prefer that are old school. Books rather than a kindle for example, and definitely notebooks over a tablet. A key reason is the joy of rediscovery – opening a notebook from almost a decade ago and randomly being reminded of insights and ideas.

I’ve just reread my notes from attending a seminar in Sydney, 2013 where Kamal Sarma spoke about connectivity. Karmal has an unusual background, training as a monk for 7 years in India and then going on to hold senior positions in McKinsey and other major corporate organisations.

He highlighted some incredible phenomena such as how when two guitars are placed side by side and the string on one is plucked, the same string on the other guitar will vibrate. He showed an experiment of two people having an MRI brain scan – one was shown awful images of death and destruction, blood and guts, which triggered a reptilian response in the brain. What was remarkable is the other patient, who hadn’t seen the images, had the same reaction having picked up the distress of their companion.

To my mind, we’re connected far more than perhaps we realise. However, my sense is that in many respects, we’re not connecting anything like as well as we could, (make that should).

Speaking at, is not conversation.
Conversation is not communication.
Communication is not connection.

It’s not about the message sent, it’s about the message received.
It’s not about listening, it’s about making them feel heard.
It’s not about time, it’s about energy.

Connecting effectively has increasingly been a challenge. We apply our own rules and interpretations and yet things such as age, gender, culture, position and profession can all get in the way – people assume that other people share their rules, and they don’t. Add tech into the mix and our connectivity is further impaired.

As we begin to come out of lockdown restrictions my hope is we will rediscover our ability to connect, but fear that this won’t be easy for everyone, and some of us might have to relearn how to interact on a meaningful level.

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